About six months ago, my parents came to me concerned about Bekah, suggesting that we have a specialist look at her. It was little hard to hear, but they said it so lovingly, and I knew it was true. For instance, Bekah usually didn't make much eye contact while talking... she constantly looks around the room. Another good friend agreed, so I made an appointment back in November for a behavioral pediatrician. The first available appointment was in February.
It is hard to acknowledge that your child is different. Several times I decided to cancel her appointment, but every time I did, the Lord would remind me again... And again, we would have a terrible day.
On Feb. 11. both Rob and I talked with the doctor and showed him the paperwork we had filled out. He then played some games and did some fun tests with Bekah. I had to laugh watching her. She was so typical Bekah. Even as she played the games with him, she couldn't ever focus on what he was doing... she had to always keep one eye wandering around the room, checking out what else was going on.
So Bekah has Attention Deficit Disorder. This is not ADHD (with hyperactivity)... and I know so many people have opinions about ADD/ADHD... that it's a farse, over-diagnosed, etc. Think what you want. Both of my kids are very active children, but there is a definite difference in Bekah, and we first noticed it when she was probably 3 months old. I am not the kind of parent to let my kids sit and watch tv... my kids maybe see 2 hours of TV in a week. Yet, my daughter (at 4) still cannot sit in her chair through dinner. It's not like she is trying to disobey or we let her get away with anything. In the words of my parents, "It is physically impossible for her to just sit there!"
Anyway, it was actually wonderful talking with the doctor. ADD is not a disease... but I can definitely see how kids with it have historically just been labeled bad children. It is not that Rebekah always chooses to disobey... she just gets so distracted and has poor impulse control. I can see that she wants to do what's right, she just gets distracted after .2 seconds. It has felt so empowering understanding the why and hopefully, I will be a better parent for her. I have found myself to be much more patient... Whohoo!
So, since no amount of punishment will make her sit quietly during Sacrament meeting (which is now at 3pm :( bless our hearts!), as an informed parent, I am now going to try another strategy. And I am sure everyone who sits around us is waiting anxiously!
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Seeing a man about a horse
As great as it is not to change diapers, there is something wonderful about not dealing with accidents, no need to hurry and find a bathroom, or change a bed in the middle of the night. I have been putting off potty training because a) I have heard that boys are harder b) it is winter, it's cold running around in underwear all day c) I get depressed during the winter if I can't leave my house... and we all know that you can't just leave when you are potty training d) I hate potty training. It stretches the patience just about as far as it can go. I am not a super patient person.
While he has gone in the potty periodically for several months, he started showing a lot of interest this last week. Now he has started wanting to get rid of diapers. My sister texted me, while watching my kids this Sat. "Your son keeps begging me to put panties on him!" Sigh. I guess I better just suck it up and do it. You gotta take advantage of the moment. Wish me luck tomorrow.
While he has gone in the potty periodically for several months, he started showing a lot of interest this last week. Now he has started wanting to get rid of diapers. My sister texted me, while watching my kids this Sat. "Your son keeps begging me to put panties on him!" Sigh. I guess I better just suck it up and do it. You gotta take advantage of the moment. Wish me luck tomorrow.
Friday, February 27, 2009
a new love
Isn't it amazing. Isn't learning wonderful. At lunch today, Bekah and I played the rhyming game. Run...fun...sun...bun... She would just giggle with glee when either of us thought of another rhyming word. What fun! It seems that sometimes school seems to beat out the fun of learning. But it shouldn't be like that. I hope that the glee lasts... that she keeps loving learning, feeling the thrill of new knowledge.
My swimmer!
My little girl can swim!! She has been taking lessons this winter (a great deal! There is only 1 other kid in her class), but it was in Houston that she took off. While playing in the hot tub one day, she must have figured out how to put her head down and float. The next day, she could suddenly swim! I stood in the middle of the pool, she swam out to me, I would lift her up to take a breath, and then she would swim the rest of the way across the pool. Whoohoo! We took a video... I am going to have to download it. It's so cute! Thank you Grandma for your help!
Monday, February 16, 2009
wedding and a wonderful day
What a wonderful weekend! What a wonderful day!
First of all, it's warm. That alone kind of guarantees goodness in February. We are out here in Houston for Lorie's wedding, which was beautiful. We arrived late Thursday night and Friday was a busy whirl-wind getting ready for the wedding. We had a big family dinner with both sides Friday evening and I even played the guitar and sang a song. It went great.
Saturday morning, we all made it out and to the temple on time. Everyone looked lovely and we now have a wonderful brother-in-law. The reception was in this cool 1940's airport terminal. It was very Lorie-esque. So beautiful. Lorie was absolutely beautiful, and the kids were so cute. And that's pretty much who people look at: Bride (and maybe the groom), the little kids, and maybe the mothers of the bride and groom. Anyway, so fun. The reception ended at 7:30, but it felt like 11. We were exhausted!
Yesterday after church, Rob, the kids and I went on a walk around the neighborhood. We walked along the bayou (I love just saying that word... bayou. Say it with a drawl. Bayou). We even saw a alligator sunning itself across the bayou, only about 20 ft away. Only down south do you just see an alligator sitting by the bayou. Plus it was just wonderful to be together, talking, enjoying the sun and warmth by the bayou (okay, say it one more time. Isn't it great? Makes you want to talk with a drawl.)
So lastly, today was absolutely wonderful. Despite the nippy weather (okay, nippy only for Houston... high-60s), we went swimming. So fun. The kids LOVED it. We then had lunch at and took a lovely nap. I always think a day that includes a nap is great. Rob had to leave for the airport. Sad:( So he has to return to cold, work, cold. I am so glad that we are staying a few more days.
We had family home evening tonight, Grandma Bassett played games with the kids (she is SO amazing. I love you Grandma Bassett), and I put kids to bed. I then finished off this wonderful day by singing italian arias to my kids as they fell asleep. It was magical, sitting in the dark, making up italian-sounding words, holding Bekah's hand as I sang to the two of them.
First of all, it's warm. That alone kind of guarantees goodness in February. We are out here in Houston for Lorie's wedding, which was beautiful. We arrived late Thursday night and Friday was a busy whirl-wind getting ready for the wedding. We had a big family dinner with both sides Friday evening and I even played the guitar and sang a song. It went great.
Saturday morning, we all made it out and to the temple on time. Everyone looked lovely and we now have a wonderful brother-in-law. The reception was in this cool 1940's airport terminal. It was very Lorie-esque. So beautiful. Lorie was absolutely beautiful, and the kids were so cute. And that's pretty much who people look at: Bride (and maybe the groom), the little kids, and maybe the mothers of the bride and groom. Anyway, so fun. The reception ended at 7:30, but it felt like 11. We were exhausted!
Yesterday after church, Rob, the kids and I went on a walk around the neighborhood. We walked along the bayou (I love just saying that word... bayou. Say it with a drawl. Bayou). We even saw a alligator sunning itself across the bayou, only about 20 ft away. Only down south do you just see an alligator sitting by the bayou. Plus it was just wonderful to be together, talking, enjoying the sun and warmth by the bayou (okay, say it one more time. Isn't it great? Makes you want to talk with a drawl.)
So lastly, today was absolutely wonderful. Despite the nippy weather (okay, nippy only for Houston... high-60s), we went swimming. So fun. The kids LOVED it. We then had lunch at and took a lovely nap. I always think a day that includes a nap is great. Rob had to leave for the airport. Sad:( So he has to return to cold, work, cold. I am so glad that we are staying a few more days.
We had family home evening tonight, Grandma Bassett played games with the kids (she is SO amazing. I love you Grandma Bassett), and I put kids to bed. I then finished off this wonderful day by singing italian arias to my kids as they fell asleep. It was magical, sitting in the dark, making up italian-sounding words, holding Bekah's hand as I sang to the two of them.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Thou Shalt Not Judge
Just got home from a disaster. While some kids get cuddly, cranky, or whiney when they get tired, my son does not. In fact, as he gets tired, he usually moves it up to hyperdrive, and as he gets more exhausted, he moves faster. I'm serious. He gets more naughty. And this only winds up his sister, who is usually also tired.
Sunday has become especially difficult since we have church 1-4pm. That last hour, during sacrament, both of my children cannot keep quiet... I think it is physically impossible for them to just sit and be quiet. Or just sit. Or be quiet.
While church ended badly, it was the family dinner afterwards that left me in tears. Both of my kids were bouncing everywhere... exhaustedly over-stimulated. It seems that my lot in life is to watch other children quietly cuddle on their parents lap while mine are running and jumping in circles. AAAAHHHH!!!
I just want to stand up and announce, "Yes, I discipline my children. I teach them good manners. The fact that they are running around like wild is not because I don't try to have some control or am too easy going. Yes, they have been to time out (one has already spent 15 minutes there in the past hour. We even spanked one (something we rarely do because it is rarely effective. And it wasn't tonight, either). So please do not judge me. Do not judge them. They are wonderful children. They really are.
Tonight I am thankful for a family who smiles instead of smirks. Who don't pass judgement. Thank you. Thank you. We will try to be better next time... but if we aren't, please just keep loving us like you do so well!
Sunday has become especially difficult since we have church 1-4pm. That last hour, during sacrament, both of my children cannot keep quiet... I think it is physically impossible for them to just sit and be quiet. Or just sit. Or be quiet.
While church ended badly, it was the family dinner afterwards that left me in tears. Both of my kids were bouncing everywhere... exhaustedly over-stimulated. It seems that my lot in life is to watch other children quietly cuddle on their parents lap while mine are running and jumping in circles. AAAAHHHH!!!
I just want to stand up and announce, "Yes, I discipline my children. I teach them good manners. The fact that they are running around like wild is not because I don't try to have some control or am too easy going. Yes, they have been to time out (one has already spent 15 minutes there in the past hour. We even spanked one (something we rarely do because it is rarely effective. And it wasn't tonight, either). So please do not judge me. Do not judge them. They are wonderful children. They really are.
Tonight I am thankful for a family who smiles instead of smirks. Who don't pass judgement. Thank you. Thank you. We will try to be better next time... but if we aren't, please just keep loving us like you do so well!
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Moving on to a new year
It is Sunday, January 3rd, 8:45pm. We just got home from the last family party we'll have for a while and Rob is upstairs singing lullabies to the children. I am downstairs staring at the mess of toys, clothes, books, and shoes that are everywhere, basking in the soft glow of the Christmas lights, remembering our wonderful holiday. Tomorrow life will go on... Christmas decorations will come down, the mess will be gone (hopefully), and everything will return back to it's schedule. This has been a great last month, but I am ready to move on and start getting organized again.
A few fun memories: New years eve, the 4 of us went to the Gateway to do a little shopping. They had some activities for kids, so my kids made masks and noisemakers. Then Rob and the kids rode the train to Layton, where I picked them up and we headed to Gamma and Gamps. Tonya and Jared also joined us as we did the count down. Gamma even had confetti! The kids loved it... although they were a little confused when we had our toast of home-made grape juice and sprite. "Where's the toast?" they both wanted to know. Then the kids were off to bed. Four hours later, we had the real count-down, this time with Mary and Shaun, too. Gamps even stayed up and played games until 1 or 2am!! (Okay, he did have a little nap before that, but I was still impressed). Plus, Jared was so hilarious in the wee hours of the morning. The next morning we had a big breakfast before we all split up into different directions... J & T to Chicago, Mary down to SLC, and we headed home to drop off stuff and continue down to South Jordan. Oh, the fun didn't stop. With Rob's mom and dad and Lorie and Manny in town from Houston, we just kept going. The kids got their Christmas presents... which they LOVED! Kyle wouldn't get off of his new bike (although it was hard to ride around on carpet inside) and Bekah has already slept several nights in her new princess sleeping bag. So thanks.
Then last night, after a jam packed day of bridal shower, primary activity, fundraising at a local boutique, and then dinner with the Franklins, we stayed at the Franklins apartment playing games until 1:30am. Luckily, the kids have spent the last 2 weeks sleeping somewhere besides their own bed, so they are pretty good at it. Then tonight, we were once again having fun at a big Bassett family gathering (which was also delightful).
It was so much fun to just hang out and stay up late playing games and talking... both with my family and the Franklins. We used to do that all the time the first 4 yrs of our marriage! What happened? Ever since we moved here to Utah, we just haven't really done that much. And although I would like to blame it on others, I think it is really the other additions that happened about the same time we moved here: My beloved Thing One and Thing Two. Hmm... maybe I'll make that one of my goals for 2009.
A few fun memories: New years eve, the 4 of us went to the Gateway to do a little shopping. They had some activities for kids, so my kids made masks and noisemakers. Then Rob and the kids rode the train to Layton, where I picked them up and we headed to Gamma and Gamps. Tonya and Jared also joined us as we did the count down. Gamma even had confetti! The kids loved it... although they were a little confused when we had our toast of home-made grape juice and sprite. "Where's the toast?" they both wanted to know. Then the kids were off to bed. Four hours later, we had the real count-down, this time with Mary and Shaun, too. Gamps even stayed up and played games until 1 or 2am!! (Okay, he did have a little nap before that, but I was still impressed). Plus, Jared was so hilarious in the wee hours of the morning. The next morning we had a big breakfast before we all split up into different directions... J & T to Chicago, Mary down to SLC, and we headed home to drop off stuff and continue down to South Jordan. Oh, the fun didn't stop. With Rob's mom and dad and Lorie and Manny in town from Houston, we just kept going. The kids got their Christmas presents... which they LOVED! Kyle wouldn't get off of his new bike (although it was hard to ride around on carpet inside) and Bekah has already slept several nights in her new princess sleeping bag. So thanks.
Then last night, after a jam packed day of bridal shower, primary activity, fundraising at a local boutique, and then dinner with the Franklins, we stayed at the Franklins apartment playing games until 1:30am. Luckily, the kids have spent the last 2 weeks sleeping somewhere besides their own bed, so they are pretty good at it. Then tonight, we were once again having fun at a big Bassett family gathering (which was also delightful).
It was so much fun to just hang out and stay up late playing games and talking... both with my family and the Franklins. We used to do that all the time the first 4 yrs of our marriage! What happened? Ever since we moved here to Utah, we just haven't really done that much. And although I would like to blame it on others, I think it is really the other additions that happened about the same time we moved here: My beloved Thing One and Thing Two. Hmm... maybe I'll make that one of my goals for 2009.
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