Yesterday, I was so motivated to get up early and exercise. Even motivated at 3am when baby awoke. And at 4:30 when baby woke again.
But then, by morning, a stomach flu caught up with me. Seriously, I'm not making this up. It took about 12 more hours to keep anything down.
So I think somehow this is a sign. Paulo Coelho writes in The Alchemist: When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.
Apparently, I really don't want to be that self-disciplined to get up early, because even the universe is conspiring against me on this. Who am I to argue with the universe? I'm off to bed.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
What do I do?
I've been experiencing some disatisfaction with my life lately, which had me puzzled. I mean, really, I have a FANTASTIC life. I have an attached garage (still giving prayers of thanks for that!), I have healthy children... especially a healthy baby (yeah! To think, my last baby already had surgery by this age!), and a husband who never complains if the house is not clean when he gets home (actually, I'm usually the one complaining). So what is my deal?
It hit me today. I have lost self discipline.
It all begins after the kids go to bed and I have finished cleaning my kitchen... that downward spiral. Too tired to do something productive, like maybe get on the elyptical we own. Yet, I can't go to bed because my baby should eat in an hour and a half. So what do I do? I glut in front of the tv. And because I'm nursing, I'm hungry... so here comes the chips and salsa. Then, I will stay up after my baby goes to bed just to finish that show or write this blog. And because my baby will invariably wake me up in the middle of the night, tomorrow morning I will lay in bed until I absolutely have to get up (which is still pretty early), and be tired much of the day and exhausted by night.
I need to get up early. Start my day right before the kids awake. Exercising would be nice. Or reading. I have become addicted to sleep and have lost the discipline to get out of bed before I absolutely have to.
So what do I do? Really, what do I do?
Well, I guess this means I better put away the chips and head for bed.
It hit me today. I have lost self discipline.
It all begins after the kids go to bed and I have finished cleaning my kitchen... that downward spiral. Too tired to do something productive, like maybe get on the elyptical we own. Yet, I can't go to bed because my baby should eat in an hour and a half. So what do I do? I glut in front of the tv. And because I'm nursing, I'm hungry... so here comes the chips and salsa. Then, I will stay up after my baby goes to bed just to finish that show or write this blog. And because my baby will invariably wake me up in the middle of the night, tomorrow morning I will lay in bed until I absolutely have to get up (which is still pretty early), and be tired much of the day and exhausted by night.
I need to get up early. Start my day right before the kids awake. Exercising would be nice. Or reading. I have become addicted to sleep and have lost the discipline to get out of bed before I absolutely have to.
So what do I do? Really, what do I do?
Well, I guess this means I better put away the chips and head for bed.
Friday, March 11, 2011
There, out in the darkness...
As I was shutting the garage door tonight I noticed something white in the darkness. No. Couldn't be.
I peered out my front door just to make sure.
Yep.
We were teepeed.
And since I seriously doubt any of our friends (you know, bleary-eyed parents who dream of sleeping through the night) are out there on a Friday night, livin' it up with the toilet paper, this can only mean one thing. That some teenagers know we exist. WE ARE COOL!
Hmm... so cool. I wonder if Rob can get the scouts to clean it up when they get home from their campout tomorrow. That would probably seriously impact our popularity factor, but I'm cool with that.
update: Rob said he thought we were probably tp'd because the culprits thought we were the previous owners (who had a teenage daughter). He may be right, but if they had KNOWN how cool WE are, they would have done it anyway. Right?
I peered out my front door just to make sure.
Yep.
We were teepeed.
And since I seriously doubt any of our friends (you know, bleary-eyed parents who dream of sleeping through the night) are out there on a Friday night, livin' it up with the toilet paper, this can only mean one thing. That some teenagers know we exist. WE ARE COOL!
Hmm... so cool. I wonder if Rob can get the scouts to clean it up when they get home from their campout tomorrow. That would probably seriously impact our popularity factor, but I'm cool with that.
update: Rob said he thought we were probably tp'd because the culprits thought we were the previous owners (who had a teenage daughter). He may be right, but if they had KNOWN how cool WE are, they would have done it anyway. Right?
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Specifics
Rob has been SUPER busy at work. In fact, he is there right now still. I can't remember seeing him so stressed... and he doesn't get stressed, so that is saying a lot. He has been put in charge of managing a huge, multi-million project with unrealistic deadlines. Oh bless him. I have been praying for him, but I'm kind of unsure what can be done.
I read a book a while ago about meditation/visualization (which is really just another word for faith). Anyway, as I was driving the other day, a quote from the book came to me, out of the blue. If you want something specific, you have to visualize/pray for something specific. If you pray for something general, the answer will be general. While we have both been praying for him, I finally asked Rob what specifically he needs. He needed more help, more people who are skilled.
Well, the very next day he came home excited to tell me that two different people came up out of the blue and offered to complete a couple tasks that needed to get done that day (that Rob just didn't have time to do). He also got a few resumes that day that looked like potentially people he could use on his team. One guy who is in charge of documentation stuff came up out of the blue saying, "I need to solder something... do you have anything to solder?" And of course, that was one of the tasks that Rob needed done. What are the chances?
The chances are great when you are specific in what you are praying for or visualizing. Interesting. As we struggle with discontentment, stress, etc., do we just vaguely ask for a change, or do we really take the time to verbalize exactly what we want.
I read a book a while ago about meditation/visualization (which is really just another word for faith). Anyway, as I was driving the other day, a quote from the book came to me, out of the blue. If you want something specific, you have to visualize/pray for something specific. If you pray for something general, the answer will be general. While we have both been praying for him, I finally asked Rob what specifically he needs. He needed more help, more people who are skilled.
Well, the very next day he came home excited to tell me that two different people came up out of the blue and offered to complete a couple tasks that needed to get done that day (that Rob just didn't have time to do). He also got a few resumes that day that looked like potentially people he could use on his team. One guy who is in charge of documentation stuff came up out of the blue saying, "I need to solder something... do you have anything to solder?" And of course, that was one of the tasks that Rob needed done. What are the chances?
The chances are great when you are specific in what you are praying for or visualizing. Interesting. As we struggle with discontentment, stress, etc., do we just vaguely ask for a change, or do we really take the time to verbalize exactly what we want.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Back to BYU one more time
Okay, I had another little trip down memory lane, but this time, it was very different.
My brother was called to be in the bishopric of a single's ward at BYU (a leadership position in the church over a bunch of single young adults). So this Sunday we drove down there to attend his first Sunday and then had dinner there afterwards.
His new ward met in the engineering building. Rob and I met for church together in probably the same exact room before we were married. Later, after we were married, we were in a single's ward in Michigan (in the bishopric), and although the scenery was different, the climate was very much the same. Aah, the memories. Kind of.
Except this time, it was completely different. We were in a room where everyone was absolutely silent... hear-a-pin-drop-silent... except for our little cheering section, which consisted of my 3 kids (who were going on their 2nd Sacrament meeting of the day), my 1 and 1/2 yr old nephew, and the adults who were taking care of 4 children. Sidenote: us parents conveniently located ourselves in the row in front of the kids... the adults WITHOUT children were super kind to quietly play with them for most of the hour. While the kids were spectacularly quiet, spectacularly quiet is still pretty loud in a silent room.
Anyway, listening to the kids talk while I was passing crayons back and forth and drawing pictures for them, I felt more and more different. And finally, with the last speaker, I realized the difference. Their era of life is a time where you are wrapped up in yourself. It's not a bad thing, but you are wrapped up in figuring out what YOU want to do with your life, where YOU want to go, etc. And now, my life revolves around everyone else's needs: My kid's needs, my husband's needs. And that doesn't mean my needs are not met... in some ways, the opposite is true. As I get older, it becomes clearer what I want and I'm less inhibited about achieving it. But I also spend a lot less time thinking about what I want. And I realize that many of my wants are not the biggest priority in my life anymore. Like my need for sleep is not as important as a baby's need for food. I really LOVED being 20-something in college and I sometimes miss that excitement and thrill that accompanied it, yet as I sit here right now, with a newborn on my lap sighing contentedly, listening to my 2 others discussing what they are going to draw, I am grateful that I have moved on. It is good... in a not-so-quiet way.
My brother was called to be in the bishopric of a single's ward at BYU (a leadership position in the church over a bunch of single young adults). So this Sunday we drove down there to attend his first Sunday and then had dinner there afterwards.
His new ward met in the engineering building. Rob and I met for church together in probably the same exact room before we were married. Later, after we were married, we were in a single's ward in Michigan (in the bishopric), and although the scenery was different, the climate was very much the same. Aah, the memories. Kind of.
Except this time, it was completely different. We were in a room where everyone was absolutely silent... hear-a-pin-drop-silent... except for our little cheering section, which consisted of my 3 kids (who were going on their 2nd Sacrament meeting of the day), my 1 and 1/2 yr old nephew, and the adults who were taking care of 4 children. Sidenote: us parents conveniently located ourselves in the row in front of the kids... the adults WITHOUT children were super kind to quietly play with them for most of the hour. While the kids were spectacularly quiet, spectacularly quiet is still pretty loud in a silent room.
Anyway, listening to the kids talk while I was passing crayons back and forth and drawing pictures for them, I felt more and more different. And finally, with the last speaker, I realized the difference. Their era of life is a time where you are wrapped up in yourself. It's not a bad thing, but you are wrapped up in figuring out what YOU want to do with your life, where YOU want to go, etc. And now, my life revolves around everyone else's needs: My kid's needs, my husband's needs. And that doesn't mean my needs are not met... in some ways, the opposite is true. As I get older, it becomes clearer what I want and I'm less inhibited about achieving it. But I also spend a lot less time thinking about what I want. And I realize that many of my wants are not the biggest priority in my life anymore. Like my need for sleep is not as important as a baby's need for food. I really LOVED being 20-something in college and I sometimes miss that excitement and thrill that accompanied it, yet as I sit here right now, with a newborn on my lap sighing contentedly, listening to my 2 others discussing what they are going to draw, I am grateful that I have moved on. It is good... in a not-so-quiet way.
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