"Is it hard being a mom?"

I was at Time Out for Women a month ago and a speaker shared a hilarious experience. Her child came up and asked her if it was hard to be a mom. As she paused for a moment, contemplating how to answer ("maybe an 8 out of 10 in hardness"), her child answered. "Like, is it so hard that sometimes you wish you were a dad?"

Babies are consuming. Seriously. So while I have been consumed with feeding, soothing, changing, (and trying to find a few minutes to sleep), Rob has stepped up as Mr. Mom. Bless his heart, he is doing a great job! But there have been some funny moments. Like Rob's first day on the job when he dropped off my son to preschool with no coat. Or shoes. Or hair done (okay, that was a gimme). (Thank goodness my kids dress themselves!)

But truth be told, my Mr. Mom has been wonderful. Trying to figure out how to do housework to meet my standards. Becoming much stricter (while still being his loving, fun self) with the kids. Going to work when he was sick because he figured it was better to be sick away from the baby. Trying to still juggle big deadlines and pressure at work over conference calls and late-night emails. Handling my occasional breakdown with compassion and forgiveness. Even baking Christmas cookies with the kids tonight (I don't even do that!).

So he may not be able to remember to move the laundry to the dryer while trying to help a child do homework and cooking dinner. Most importantly, he is full of love, and is more gentle with me than I am with myself.

I am very blessed.

Welcome

12-11-10, welcome little Stephen!

He is beautiful! The birth went great, and Rob was there! Rob flew in from Minneapolis (just missing the Big storm by a day that delayed flights and left a huge hole in the roof of the Metrodome) late Friday night, and Saturday afternoon, our baby was born. My labor was only 1.5 hours, and I actually went to the hospital not because I was in labor, but because I caught my son's stomache bug and couldn't keep anything down.

Although delirious from fatigue, I just wanted to write a few thoughts.

How can I love a little being so much who can't even make eye contact with me yet? Sappy, but true.

Yesterday he started waking up and spending time looking around. The first several days, it is just eat, sleep, or cry, but last evening he started spending a half an hour here and there looking up at the world. It is amazing. Everything is new. Lights, faces, feelings, touch. Yet when I talk to him, he responds just a little... perhaps that is one thing that he remembers.

And I forgot what it actually means when you say that babies have their days and nights mixed up. How can he sleep so much during the day, and then be up so much at night! Rob's been sleeping in the living room so he can get up with the kids and get them ready for school. We figured at least one of us can get some sleep. But after having a small meltdown at dinner, I am realizing that someone needs to be me tonight. :) Thankfully I have a good husband who wants to help.