The last couple days I have been feeling stressed. Outside I feel calm, but inside I feel like I have this pit. Consciously I blamed it on all of the things I had to do: the literacy program, writing a primary program, refinishing my deck, etc. etc. Wrong.A couple months ago, I was talking with my neighbor about how frustrated I was with Kyle. He was sometimes so hyper-stimulated, like he couldn't even control himself. She commented that her son had been just like that, but then they found out he had sleep apnea. Well, the lights just went off in my head when she said that. I made an apt. with the ENT and sure enough, Kyle had most of the symptoms: bad breathe, waking up suddenly (often crying), large tonsils, snoring (sometimes so loud that we can hear him in our room with both doors closed)... The ENT recommended surgery if we actually witnessed sleep apnea. If we didn't, then we would do a sleep study. As mentioned earlier, on our anniversary night, Rob and I spent a romantic night watching Kyle sleep. I was stunned at how much he sat up in bed or stopped breathing over and over again! We've even found him asleep, sitting straight up in bed.
In 6 days Kyle will have his adenoids and tonsils removed. Yesterday, he went to the pre-op. class where they take the kids around the hospital and show them what to expect. It went well. As a nurse, I have seen other kids with this surgery. It's not a big deal and most of the time, they don't even stay the night. No problem. Recovery is hard, but hey, I can deal with that. We've prayed about it and feel like he needs it done. Rob and I are even counting the days, anxious for when we can have a well-rested little boy. So it's a really good thing.
I thought I was totally fine with it until I started talking with my mom today, and then suddenly I found myself crying. Underneath, I am scared to death. At the pre-op class, Kyle looked so little, walking around the hospital with the bigger kids. It kills me inside to send him off to something that is going to hurt him so much, even when I know it will make him better. I thought being a nurse would make me feel less of this... knowledge is power, right? But I'm a mom, and knowing the "what ifs..." can be worse. So everyone, please pray for our little boy.
2 comments:
He and you will do great. I'm praying for all of you and can help with anything you need me to do. I am even good for a Santita Chip run if needs be.
You know what they say...it doesn't matter how much knowledge and experience you have. When it comes to your own children, you are still a novice. That goes for behavior problems with teachers' children... and surgeries for nurses' children. In fact it's harder because you are emotionally involved.
That being said, yours and Kyle's names are on the Houston temple prayer roll and our prayers are also with you. Little Kyle will do just fine. We love you!!
See you Monday night!
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