Just a few more pictures

Is this the cutest group or what? And that is as close to getting everyone looking at the camera and smiling that we EVER get.
Kyle's favorite photo face. It's taken years of practice to perfect this.

Look at that front tooth coming in... after years of a toothless grin, our girl may not be wishing for two front teeth this Christmas!

Can we just say that we love this kid!

Like Father Like Son... seriously, nobody's asking "Who's your daddy?" to this kid.

Best Day Ever

Perfect day!
Got up and got things done... I even pulled out the ladder and cleaned a window. Rob took the day off because he has been traveling and will go hunting tomorrow. So he took the older 2 to Costco for new tires and lunch. Then we picked up a new glass door for the front door, and met a neighbor up in the mountains. We went on a FANTASTIC hike to Elephant Rock. I don't think that I have seen the mountains so red. At one part of the hike, there was a few workers doing work on a pipeline up there. We watched as a helicopter came right by us to drop off stuff to them. How cool is that! Then we ran most of the way back down the mountain. I was so proud of the kids! They were AWESOME!

Then while Rob was putting the door up (Gosh, he's so good), we cooked the pizza. After dinner (including the jello shaped like a brain), the kids each performed a puppet show they made up. It was fantastic, especially to see the baby on tiptoe watching it, trying to reach out for the puppets. Then is was scripture reading and some of "Bunnicula Strikes Back". Now kids are sound asleep; Rob is outside working hard to fix his car, and I am sitting on the couch writing, with a clean kitchen:).

Perfect day! Got stuff done. Had fun! And we were able to enjoy this fantastic weather and got some great exercise. We live for days like this! I just wanted to share it so I won't forget this.

Hiking

I've been trying to go hiking each week while the weather is so beautiful and it has been SO BEAUTIFUL! There is one fantastic hike for kids that you get to cross a small stream about 5 times. Last week, I ended up taking 5 children on it and we had such a great time. Two moms were going to come, but couldn't last minute. I'm so glad that didn't stop us. We had such a blast! We invited a neighbor girl and boy with us, and it was the little girl's first time to ever go hiking. When we got out of the car and started, she was too nervous to even walk down the trail without holding my hand. But by the time we finished, she was doing awesome. The boys loved hiking with their hiking sticks, all of the kids found a special rock to bring home (there are lots of rock with micah and quartz, so sparkly rocks are extra cool), and we even found a little teepee that someone had made out of branches for a little shelter.

I gotta enjoy this weather while I can, because who know how long it will last. I have stuff I want to get done inside, but have a hard time getting myself to do it because I keep thinking that I will have 6 months of winter when I will be inside plenty.

Treasure Two

Kyle found another Treasure. Yes, for one more fantastic week, we were pet owners again.

You can see where this is going already, can't you.

Sunday evening, we came home to find our praying mantis belly up in his cage. We waited until morning to break the news. Kyle took it really well... he knew it was coming. We had discussed it. No tears at all, even while Treasure 2 was buried next to Treasure. But then he ended up sobbing when we pulled up a big bush. Near panic-sobbing that "it is my favorite bush!"

Good news: Treasure 2 was actually a she. She laid eggs in her cage, which was really cool to watch happen. Yeah... so we get to do this again and again.

FALL!

The first yellow leaves appeared in my trees 2 days ago. I took a picture. It is official. Fall is here.

This is my favorite time of year. While people make goals in January, it is always autumn that inspires me to be better and accomplish more. I think it is perhaps the coinciding of school starting and the harvest season, plus that hint of winter that whispers a reminder to "carpe diem" before the snow sets in.

That is one thing about fall. These beautiful fall days are spectacular, but they don't last long. There is always a storm just around the corner. Which is actually, kind of a good thing, because it reminds me that I better get out there and enjoy it. Temperatures are supposed to drop on Thursday, so I spent a lot of the day working outside. I might not have if it was always this wonderful!

Today I dragged the family up into the mountains to go on a short hike. I shouldn't say "drag", since they were all quite happy to go with me. It just takes so much effort... getting the kids fed early, getting jackets, socks, shoes, baby backpack, water, and then urging everyone INTO the car, then realizing Daddy wasn't quite as close to home as expected, so sitting in the car... Every mother knows that anything worthwhile takes at least some Herculean effort. Anyway, we had a wonderful time. Bekah was collecting leaves, Kyle was collecting rocks, Daddy was doing who knows what on his phone, Stephen was just happily chilling, and I was thrilled to be out doing exactly what I wanted with such a happy clan. It really was wonderful.

Rob brought home a huge box of apples from my dad's, and I'm at it again. When I'm in the middle of canning, I always wonder why the heck I do it! We had a load of apples from our tree and I made applesauce. I've also done peaches, raspberry jam, and salsa. There will still be more salsa, more jam, and grape juice. So last week, I put a hole through my steam bath pan (only noticed after trying to figure out why water was EVERYWHERE). Then I broke a jar of applesauce and a jar of peaches. And what drives me the most crazy is that my kitchen is a MESS afterwards. Yet, despite these setbacks, I do this every year. I'm trying to figure out why. I think a little of it is because I have the fruit and feel a compulsion to do something with it... you know, not just waste it. Then there is the fact that the food is healthy. I know the applesauce I'm making is just that: apples. Healthy and simple. Well, and of course I am addicted to salsa and my salsa is better than almost anything I've tried anywhere. I use about 50 pounds of tomatoes in all, but I love it so much, I probably only have 1 jar left from last year. So despite my grumblings, I'm at it again. And our house smells delicious!

Okay, actually, now that I think about it, I did have a wonderful time last Friday making applesauce. Kyle was helping push the applesauce through the grinder while I turned the handle. It was so great to work with my son. There were no deadlines, there was no rush. I could be as patient as I needed to be and he was having fun working with me. That can be hard to find: a project to work together without whining. Especially with the reward of a bowl of fresh applesauce. I kept him home from school for an hour because we were both having such a good time, and I figured that learning to work with me was the greater lesson.

Anyway, I just had some real toasty-warm home-made apple juice with a little cinnamon. mmm...tastes so good, I think I will snuggle off to bed. :)

Bloody nose? No problem!

WOW! What a day!

Several months ago, Rob came home and informed me that he had signed us both up for a triathlon. Rob did a triathlon several years ago, but to me it was just something that I vaguely said "I should do that someday..." whenever someone talked about doing one. But the proposal came at a good time. We were in the middle of a wellness competition with another family, and so after a year and a half of me saying that I should exercise, I had actually started running. Rob was on a quest to lose 20 pounds (and feeling VERY motivated because I finally agreed that he could get a big screen TV if he did). And preparing for a race would be the motivation we needed to keep exercising.

So... as soon as the kids were gone to school and the baby was up from his nap, I was off trying to get my swimming, biking, or running in. A neighbor has a pool, and the baby was very good at sitting in his little booster seat and playing or eating goldfish while I swam laps. As the race approached, dear Chris Jackson lent me her thousand-dollar bike. When compared to my very old mountain bike where the the tire is slightly bent and keeps rubbing on the brake and I'm always pulling a bike trailer with a kid and stuff in it, this bike was heaven-sent.

So this is how a parent preps for a race: The night before. Rob was in a golf tournament until the evening, and after dinner had to hit the computer to work on a 50 page technical paper (which, so happens, he is working on right now). I just got about 30 pounds of tomatoes from a neighbor and was hurrying to take the skins off and freeze them in order to make salsa next week. While doing 3 loads of laundry and watching a neighbors kid. My dad called to see if B and K could come spend the night at his house (which my kids were SUPER excited about... especially since he has a puppy). So I packed really quick, ran up there, dropped them off, met Rob for dinner, ran home to grab the baby stuff and drop the baby at my mom's, then come home, move some of the clean laundry off my bed and put away the tomato stuff, pack and exhausted fall into bed. That is how a parent prepares for a race.

Day of the race: Rob and I got up early and drove down to Lehi. It was a very small race, with mostly just people who know (or know someone who knows) the guy who put the race on. Very relaxed. Perfect for a first race. The swim went great for me, Rob said that was his worst. I actually felt like I could keep swimming a lot more (which I can't say that about anything else on the race). The bike was beautiful, out in the rural part of Lehi and through a big park and along the river. And then came the hill. Oh, the hill. Man, I was glad that I was on the nice bike, because I probably would have had to get off my old mountainbike and push it up the hill. It was out by Camp William (?) and army guys were at the top of the hill congratulating and telling us it was time to turn around. At that point I was very happy to comply. Rob did awesome at the bike, keeping it at the high gear almost the whole time. I kept wondering when it was going to end... yes, 12 miles felt like 12 miles... very long.

Then it was the run (I know this is getting long... but it felt that way in the race, too). When I got off, another guy was taking his sweet time, so I was pretty slow about getting ready to run. And then I realized that this guy had already finished the race (being in the first heat-start... and being really fast, too), so I stopped drinking the propel and took off. Wobbily. It is hard to run after biking. You know how when you spin around a bunch and then start to run? That's how it felt. Only not dizzy, just super wobbily. But I kept going until it finally wore off. It was fun to see my mom pass us with the kids in the car (well, actually, we stopped for a quick picture). Rob also joined me for part of the run. It was great. Well, great because it's done. It was hard, but I did it, and only walked about 1/2 a block, mostly just because I didn't have the mental stamina to just keep going.


So it was fun. My kids and mom were at the end with pompoms to cheer us on. I would add pictures, but I don't have drive to get up and get the camera right now. I feel pretty proud of myself that I did it. And while at first I thought "Wow, I'm glad I did it. Don't think I'll do it again," the satisfaction is now getting to me and I am thinking of the next one.

How does a parent wind down after a race? Well, since a parent has other children, the luxury of going and getting a massage or a nap is not so much a reality. Rob is working on the paper right now, holding a baby who I think is getting sick, having already unloaded the car and bikes. I am watching my kids and 2 neighbor kids doing crafts in my kitchen, having already cleaned the kitchen, made lunch, pulled out another load of laundry, and mowed the lawn. Ok, the lawn about killed me, especially because we have a push lawn mower and REALLY long grass. Luckily, my neighbors sons think our lawn mower is super cool, so they ended up coming over and mowing the backyard for me. Cuz they wanted to. Sweet!

So tonight, we are all going out to dinner (I'm not cooking!) and then Rob and I are going to a play. And then watching the BYU/Utah game. So a full, full day. But WOW

treasure found, treasure lost

For one fantastic week, we were pet owners. Kyle was in heaven! And now Treasure, our praying mantis is.

We found Treasure while visiting my brother, Jared and Tonya. Kyle is an avid bug-catcher. Even as I write, we have about 5 grasshoppers in a bug cage. But grasshoppers are nothing compared to a praying mantis. Kyle loved that thing! We caught live flies and would eat our dinner oohing and ahhing as Treasure ate his. Kyle ran and showed our neighbors his new pet; he told everybody about it. That would probably explain why he called it Treasure. Every day, he anxiously awaited the time he could take his praying mantis out and let him walk around and on him.

Today, while Rob was at a conference speaking, Kyle excitedly took Treasure's cage down to let it have a walk. And there was Treasure at the bottom of the cage, his leg twitching occasionally. Bekah bawled while Kyle tried to hold it together, getting a little teary.

Tonight, after a full day of cleaning, long bike rides (and a few crashes), and fun at lagoon, we ended the day with a small funeral service and buried Treasure. Kyle offered a few tender words. ...and then it was back to watching college football.
Thank goodness kids recover fast. :)

Parenting is killing me...

... it's not the diapers, or disciplining, or even laundry. No. I am completely overwhelmed. My daughter cried herself to sleep tonight. I know it's the first of probably many times but I have been crying ever since...

A new school year has started, and with it a shift in classes as they mix up the two 1st grade classes. What was left was Bekah in one class, while most of her friends ended up in the other class... including her best friend. While they still have recess together, others have naturally made new friends. Unfortunately Bekah is more of a one-best-friend girl and dislikes playing with a bunch of girls. So that has left her feeling very lonely and very left out.

This is killing me! We talk about how to make friends, talk about what she can do. But at the end of the day, she is still bawling in her bed that she will never make friends. And I feel horrible because I'm not being supportive or loving enough or whatever-enough, and knowing exactly how she feels. I moved into a new school in 1st grade, too (as well as moving in other grades). It's SO painful to see her struggle, especially when I know how acute that very pain is. Seriously, if this is how I feel when my 1st grader feels left out then what the heck am I going to do with bigger issues (especially because I have gone into her school and have seen that she does have friends and people ARE kind to her), ???

This is so hard. I'm telling you, it's like my heart is being stomped on. I don't know how God does it.

so old

We went camping last night.

As we were sitting around the fire, I told stories from when I was younger. My kids love these. I started to tell them about when I was really young, we had a station wagon.

"Do you know what a station wagon is?" I asked.

"Yup, we do," piped my daughter definitively, "it's what the pioneers crossed the plains on!"

Ummm... not quite.

This reminds me of an experience I had a couple weeks ago. My husband and I were talking to his younger cousin and his beautiful fiance. They were telling us how they met, how their engagement has been, etc, and we were sharing our story with them. Then we both commented that how as you get older, age doesn't really matter as much as it does when you are young.

I was about to say, "Yeah, just like you and us are not that different..." I kid you not, that was on the tip of my tongue, when his fiance said, "Yeah just like you and Sid and Steph,"... their parents. I could hardly stop laughing.

I guess am no longer associated with the younger crowd. Unless I am visiting a nursing home. What? When did this happen? Apparently years ago, I probably just didn't notice it because I was changing somebody's diaper.

Here's the clincher... I am actually closer in age to his parents than to the engaged couple. How's that? Ahh... but it's a good age! And I certainly wouldn't change it.

A few pictures from our Portland trip

we hiked to the very top of these falls! The kids were so great hiking on this trip!



So we had tons of fun in Portland (and went to the beach obviously). Jannene and Kevin were so fun to stay with and it turned out to be a fantastic family vacation (although, Rob would probably point out that it was a family trip. A "vacation" involves just sitting and relaxing, not nearly so much hiking and traveling around.

Another wild child?

"While your 7-month-old has already accomplished a great deal by this time, it's almost as if the first six months of his life have been a training period for active duty."
That's what my book says.

Check.

This week my baby has changed. Gone is this sedate, easy-going baby. He is still a happy camper, but he is now an explorer. If anything is close-to-within reach, it will be his. I put him down on the floor and in about 3 seconds, I turn to find him sucking on a cord. He broke a vase yesterday because I walked by it, and he grabbed the flowers before I could even think. Last week he would gag eating cherrios, this week, he is only interested in solids. Bottle feeding takes FOREVER, as he is not very interested in just sitting and sucking. Even as I was feeding him today, and he was so tired that he was falling asleep, his hand was still out trying to grab my face, or anything else around. He is even starting to use the chewed-up sippy cups passed down from older siblings.

He has become squirrelly. And while he is not crawling yet (thank goodness!), he is starting to get around. As he is constantly bouncing (people remark about that constantly) or moving. I am beginning to think that while he may have started out calm, this child is really not so different than my other two.
:)

AMAZING

I am really loving the law change here in Utah about fireworks. As we were driving home from a family BBQ, it was so beautiful to see so many big aerial fireworks going off across the valley. Beautiful!

Parenting, and figuring out my own tune

I just read Battle Hymn of a Tiger Mom and it has got me thinking. I have worried about my kids finding good friends a lot. But why? (I think it may be because I moved a lot growing up, and that was always a worry for me when I moved). They will make friends, regardless, and if I teach them skills like self-discipline and manners at home, they should seek out kids with the same types of skills. So maybe I need to think less about play dates and more about academic skills.

I have always known my kids were smart kids. Not brilliant, child prodigy's (thank goodness... I can barely spell it let alone handle one). But smart enough to get by... But reading that book has gotten me to re-evaluate my parenting. Thinking about pushing harder, being the best. Although I'm not even close to being as driven as the author is (her daughter played in Carnegie Hall as a 13-year old), I can do much more for my kids, pushing their talents more and investing more in their education. Kids gain self-confidence when they do something well, especially something hard, not when someone coddles them and lets them know constantly how awesome they are for doing something that comes easy.

However, at the same time, I don't want to teach my kids self-discipline by screaming and yelling at them constantly (like the book). And I do believe in the importance of taking time for imaginative play.

In my quest to find a happy medium for me, I kicked it up a notch last week. The kids did a lot more chores. I printed out math pages and we practiced reading. And it went really well. My house was a lot cleaner. Whenever they whined, I calmly gave them another chore, and by the end of the week, they were finishing chores without me harping on them to finish. We still played and had a lot of fun, but I don't think we missed anything. Well, to be fair, we had a friend stay over half the week while her parents were out of town, so even doing chores was like having a play date. But I think I need to trust that my kids will find good friends if I just focus on my own modeling and spend more time with them prepping them academically and ethically.

It's the Good Stuff

Just thinking about what a great stage we are at. The other evening, our oldest child had to sit in the car while the rest of us ate at Cafe Rio (isn't parenting fun!). One lady was looking at the car, so I went out to just tell her we were right there and she laughed and said something like, "been there, done that!"

It just reminded me, I am living the dream! I am right in the middle of that stage of life that I will talk and think about for the rest of my life. The time that old people always come up and pat you on the arm and say, "Enjoy it!" And I am, darn it! Right now, I am watching my two oldest draw pictures of bikes and discuss decorating their bikes in the bike parade we are going to tonight. I love listening to them make plans. My baby is on my lap, just looking up and grinning at me. Isn't this wonderful!

Speaking of my kids making plans: I should probably give Kevin, my brother-in-law, the magician, a heads-up. Kyle decided the other day that he was going to ask Santa for magic for Christmas. Yes, this is the same boy who spent all last year discussing what kind of robot he wanted for Chistmas... the one that could clean and make puppies and build a truck to take us to the Himalayas. I told him that Santa couldn't share his magic, because that was what he used to get kids gifts. So Kyle decided he was going to discuss how to get magic with Uncle Kevin.

Ok. To be fair, some of this bliss may be influenced by the fact that my husband and I are going to NYC shortly. Just us. Alone for almost 4 days. And I will NOT be pining for home.

just a few fun activities

Marching with my dad and husband in the Pride Parade.
We got Lagoon passes this year. Unfortunately, we have been too busy to go more than once, but the kids loved it. It was fun to go with just Rob, but it is SO fun to go with kids. Theirs excitement is so contagious. We went with a friend who is pregnant, so she often held the baby while we went on the roller coasters with the kids.

The baby was able to go on one ride. Pretty exciting!

So sad

For one who has a huge grin, most of the time, it's been a sad 24 hours. While making dinner, I looked down to find him just chewing on his little saucer.

Can you say teething?

Why I love Bekah

This girl has more energy than anything. Even the way she moves is full of energy. She's moves fast, kind of jerky, in what my parents called "bull-dozing". Every thing she does is intense. From finding bugs, shaking her brothers rattle to get him to laugh, or mammoth tantrums, it is all done with energy. Even her laugh is full of gusto. So much life!

Bekah has such a great heart. She wants to obey and make you happy. Even this morning, she was helping Kyle pick out his clothes so that he would be dressed in time for Daddy's zuberts. She is always making plans, and they often involve doing something nice for someone. Over Christmas, we spent a couple months making pictures for a book for their dad. But Bekah decided that I needed a special book, too. So she and Kyle would tell me to "go take a nap now" (being pregnant, of course I complied) while the two would color in their coloring books and draw pictures for my own book. I also love hearing her plan out gifts that she wants to give other people. She has taped her hard-earned pennies to homemade cards and delivered it to neighbor kids when she heard they were sick. Does it get better than that?

While she has the girl "drama", I have to say that I'm very lucky. When it comes to physical pain, she is as tough as it gets. Seriously, even when she was little she would run in to walls and furniture all the time and just pop up and keep running. A couple months ago, she hurt her foot (jumping down from 6 or 7th steps up) and had a limp for over a week, yet complained about it maybe 2 or 3 times. My heart would ache just watching her try to run without putting pressure on her heel. Last week we went to Vegas and she spent over half the car ride throwing up in the car. Did she whine or complain? Nope. I gave her a cup, and we would stop after a while to dump it out and give it back to her.

Of course, if her feelings get hurt at all, that's another story. There is definitely fire in her. Did I mention that she is a bossy oldest daughter? Unfortunately, I know where that comes, since I was also a bossy oldest daughter. Ahh well.

And while she loves to ride her bike and climb anything and everything, she is still a princess. Complete with tutu. Hence the outfit in the picture. She wanted to wear her dance costume, but needed to be able to bike to the park quick (and modestly). Today she wore a sparkly shirt with jogging pants (color-wise, they matched) and shoes that have kind of a high heel. Love it.

I love that she will tell me everything. Although the non-stop dialogue can get tiring, I really love the fact that she doesn't keep secrets from me (other than presents, which she loves to hint about). She will tell me if her feelings got hurt or if she did something wonderful. And while I don't think that sometimes she is listening, I am often surprised to see that in reality, she did, and she wants to obey.

While she is so bold physically, she can be timid emotionally. Like knocking on neighbors doors to see if a friend could play made her feel shy and scared. Afraid of rejection. I have to say, that I am grateful to see her vulnerabilities, because she is so bold and fearless so much of the time, it reminds me that she is still just a little girl. And while she is growing up so fast, I am so glad that for now, she is just that: a little girl. MY little girl.

Cooking

I made gnocchi tonight from scratch! However, I didn't have time to cook it, and had already made some orange chicken for dinner, so we will actually have it for dinner Sunday. Hope it's good.

So here is my food dilemma. I dislike cooking the same thing over and over. Meaning, I don't like cooking the same thing twice within 3 months, or even 6 months. We may have the same lunch and breakfast every day, but dinner... nope. I don't really like cooking anyway, so making different stuff at least makes it more interesting to cook A rotating calendar would not work for me. I will make a list of several meals I can make and then have the food on hand so when the urge for that hits me, I can make it.

Because the "what's for dinner?" seems to always be the question, I have a couple blogs that I have used a bunch.

www.meatlessmealsformeateaters.blogspot.com
lemonglaze.blogspot.com

And of course, there is the google search for recipes.

What I really need, though, much more than recipes, is a chef. Yes. That would definitely solve my dinnertime woes. And a revolved table that could flip over and the table could be set perfectly, like my daughter's barbie table. But at least a chef.

My fashion tip that lead to much, much more

I just spent a wonderful 4 days in Vegas. We never actually went near the strip, but I did my annual visit to Rob's cousin. Every year, I try to go down with the kids and stay with their family for as long as possible. It is wonderful! I feel bad that Rob can never go. Ann Marie and I end up staying up late talking every night... about life, what we've learned, education (she home schools her kids), parenting, money, and this time we even talked about fashion. She had me read this book that talks about what type of person you are (there are 4 types) and then what you should wear.

I thought I was another type of person, but as I read one of the types, I laughed out loud. The author had my personality nailed. Even to the part of the book where she stated, "you probably skipped a lot of the book to see what the point was at the end." And I had just done that. Yes, I am a get-her-done kind of girl.

So I may not be fashionably fashionable... I'm hoping that this experience will help me branch out from the solid-color t-shirts that have been my staple for the last 5 years. But if I have learned nothing else, it will be completely worth it! Here is why: As I skimmed through the other types, I realized what type my daughter is. There may be a remote possibility that I will be able to help her find what looks good for her as she enters that socially-awkward preteen stage, but chances are slim - her Aunt Mary or Celeste will probably do that. But as I learned about her, I learned how better to communicate with her. While all I need is a list to cross off to motivate me (I am very task-driven), she is fun-driven.
And here is the pay-off: today I asked the kids to empty the dishwasher. Again, and again. They were just getting so distracted doing it. By about my sixth time, as I was about to make some kind of threat, I remembered what I had just learned. "I need you to hurry and empty the dishwasher before it explodes! It is a space ship that will explode and everything will go all over if it isn't done quick!"

Done.

"All your laundry has to be put away so it is packed away in your space ship so it will take off."

Done.

"If you have to run through your space ship (room), you might trip over anything on the floor and not save the ship in time. So make sure there is nothing on the ship floor."

Done.

When seconds matter

When it comes to getting things done, I sometimes tease Rob. He works meticulously, making sure each step is done correctly. This is great when installing a new garbage disposal (a task to be done tomorrow), but kind of exasperating when it involves something needed fast.

But when it really counts, he sure comes through! Like at 5 this morning, when a little voice piped through the darkness, "I fink I'm gonna frow up." Wow, before you could say, "Not on the carpet!" he was up and had the child in the bathroom over the toilet, just in time.

Rob, you are a rock star!

Embrace the rolls!

My baby has developed a new talent. Blowing bubbles. And he is proud of the fact that he can blow spit bubbles. You wanna know what else he is proud of? His body. He gets so excited moving it, getting his fingers up to his mouth, standing, making sounds. Put him in front of a mirror, and his chest puffs up with pride. While experts may say that babies get so excited looking at the mirror because they think it's another person, I disagree. I've had 3 children, and they never got as excited looking at any other baby as they did looking at themselves in the mirror. Seeing another child may garner a stare, but when they see themselves, they light up. Puff up the chest and laugh in delight.

Delight. Delight even if there are rolls on those legs, slobber down the chest, and a complete inability to keep their head erect.

That's something we all love about babies. They are exploring a new world and a new body, and rather than do so tentatively, comparing themselves to everyone else, they embrace themselves and the world. They are proud of that body! Bring on the rolls on the legs! Look at me slobber! Wow, I have a head!

I need to be more delighted with my body. Delighted that I have a body. I may not quite be able to do everything what I want with it, but neither can my baby. So yesterday as I huddled under a blanket in the cold watching a soccer game, I thought about how awesome it was I could feel coldness, and thought about what exactly that felt like.
Okay, I didn't... but I will next time.

Purifying

Years ago, in church, someone told a story that I have not forgotten. The woman said that she asked her mom what she thought about as she was doing the dishes and laundry, and all of those other mind-numbing chores we do all day. Her mother said that she liked to just think about the things of God.

Woah. What do I think about?
Kyle has a soccer game Saturday and he has been wearing his soccer shirt two days already this week. How dirty is it? Do I need to bring treats? I really need to cut his hair. What am I going to make for dinner? Will the kids ever learn to shut the door? I've gotta get the laundry done. What am I going to make for dinner? I wonder what the weather's going to be like tomorrow. I need to water the garden. I sure hope the plants grow. I love listening to those two laugh. I really really hope the baby sleeps well tonight. What do I feel like cooking tonight? Rob's gone, maybe omelets again etc. etc. etc.

How do we purify our souls? I like this idea so much because it isn't just happening during moments of quietness or prayer. Heavens knows there are not a lot of those moments for a stay-at-home mom. It is while kids were running in and out. While work is getting done. Although those moments of meditation and prayer are essential, just as important are the snapshots into our mind throughout the day. Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism, said, "What we think, we become."

If spend my time thinking of stuff I need to do, naturally, I become busy. If I spend my time... even the washing dishes and laundry time... thinking of purity and love, I become purity and love.

A quote I came across

"For to teach, encourage, cheer up, console, amuse, stimulate or advise a husband or children or friends, you have to be something yourself. And how to be something yourself? Only by working hard and with gumption at something you love and care for and think is important.

So if you want your children to be musicians, then work at music yourself, seriously and with all your intelligence. If you want them to be scholars, study hard yourself. If you want them to be honest, be honest yourself. And so it goes.

And that is why I would say to the worn and hectored mothers who longed to write and could find not a minute for it: If you would shut your door against the children for an hour a day and say: "Mother is working on her five-act tragedy in blank verse!" you would be surprised how they would respect you. They would probably all become playwrights."

from Brenda Uelands book If You Want to Write: A book about Art, Independence, and Spirit, in the chapter called, "Why women who do too much housework should neglect it for their writing."

This is applicable for more than just mothers. I remember learning about a study that showed that one person's decision to lose weight impacted people's weight loss 2 levels away... in other words, friends of the friend of the person who lost weight. So as we "become" something ourselves... we will affect not only us, but each other. Val's efforts to BECOME will increase my efforts. And vice versa.

Happiness

For what seemed like a year, I struggled with finding enjoyment in motherhood. I of course loved my kids, but wasn't necessarily thrilled about being around them all the time. Sad, huh.

But then, something changed. I think the change had something to do with not being pregnant. And prayer. This last month I have loved being a stay at home mom. Even today, after being up two nights with a croupy baby and husband out-of-town, I have loved the time I've gotten to spend with them. We dyed easter eggs with a neighbor and had a fantastic time. I love how Bekah loves to laugh... even the baby lights up when she does. I love how when Kyle gets excited he will do a funny dance. I love that the baby grins when you look at him and smile, even when he's feeling lousy. I'm laughing again, just listening to them talk to each other. Even now, Bekah just came out of bed to tell me, "I think I need to drink some liquids because my voice is gone." Mmm, what you need is to stop talking and go to sleep. She cracks me up.

What a good life we lead. A quiet but great life. Spring is the perfect time to celebrate Easter. The whole earth is celebrating new life with me.

Our favorite Easter tradition

Every year, we do the twelve days of easter. We open a sparkly blue egg carton, and inside are 12 easter eggs with 12 special objects (and a scripture to go with) that remind us of Christ's final hours.

For example: egg number one has a tiny sacrament cup with the scripture: "And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, "If it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless not as I will but as thou wilt." Matthew 26:39. Might you think of this as you drink from your sacrament cup each week?

Day 2 has 3 dimes, "then one of the twelve, called Judas Iscariot, went unto the chief priest and said unto them, What will ye give me, and I will deliver him unto you? And they covenanted with him for thirty pieces of silver." Matthew 26:14-15. This fulfilled the prophecy in Zechariah 11:12-14 that Jesus would be sold for 30 pieces of silver.

Anyway, this continues for 12 days. My kids love it... and it's helped us somehow connect the idea of easter eggs with the Savior. If anyone wants a copy of the 12 days, let me know.

Mom, this one's for you!

The video doesn't do his double chin nearly the justice it deserves.

They say things come in threes...

1. Friday night, garage door broke.
2. Sunday, garbage disposal leaking
3. ... ?

ps, it didn't upset me when the garage door broke, because I HAVE a garage! I'm still so thankful about that, especially every time it snows... which was this week.

Outside extravaganza

So much to tell! I have started planting. I've always grown something. First flowers in Michigan. Then tomatoes and basil in our little townhome. Now I planted FROM SEEDS (mind you, never done that before) peas, lettuce, and tomorrow carrots and spinach. Also planted onions, and more to come. (The picture is of some of my seeds soaking).

In the past I have just added a little potting soil and planted my tomatoes. This year, I do not think that I will ever produce enough food to compensate for how much I have spent on gardening. Ah well, if nothing else, it is a wonderful excuse to get me outside, where I would much rather be. But I will still be ticked if nothing grows. Good news, my chives are perennial and came back all on their own (along with raspberries and strawberries). I love plants that do that! It gives me such joy to think that I am going to reap what I didn't even have to sow this year.

And while I am outside, I should also mention how we spent Saturday. Pretty exciting. We bought a big swingset! Bekah was disappointed that it did not have monkey bars (we couldn't find any non-wooden ones with monkey bars that weren't humongous), but it does come with a fort and climbing wall, so I think that has compensated. Rob and I spent all day Saturday building it, and he finished it in the dark after the kids had gone to bed. The kids were fantastic while we built the thing, especially at helping take care of the baby. We should have put on sunscreen, especially Rob, but are glad to have finished it. The kids were up early, already dressed in their Sunday best, begging to go and play for just a little bit. Now they can play on that while I play in my garden. Extra Vitamin D for everyone!

Horse poop

I've been itching to start growing things. We have been debating about doing the square foot gardening thing, but when we saw some easy to set up raised gardens at Costco, Voila! Kyle and I put it together today.

Tonight after dinner we mixed the different stuff together for the soil. My kids were absolutely stunned to learn we were putting horse manure in our garden. "Why did you buy those nice boxes at Costco just to put horse poop in them?" my daughter asked. The two ran around for an hour talking about horse poop. They were even more shocked to see Dad actually touching the stuff as we mixed it with the peat moss, vermaculite, and other compost. WITH HIS BARE HANDS! Kyle finally couldn't resist and got out his Handy Manny gloves and joined us in mixing the compost. It was great. Very bonding.

Until he started shoveling the compost out of the boxes into the grass.

This is going to be great! I'm so excited. And thankful for a great hubby who will come home from a long day at work to work some more, up to his elbows in poop no less. And then to do taxes at night. Bless him!

Our campout

I love being a mom! Today is the last day of spring break, and I have loved having the kids home. We were going to go out of state today for the weekend, but couldn't because of this:
A huge blizzard. So I decided that we would go camping. I didn't tell the kids where, but set up clues while they were getting ready. They were so excited. We had tinfoil dinners and then they packed their backpacks with their blankies and stuffed animals, got in their pjs, and jumped in the car, ready to go. There in the car was a note that sent them to the mailbox, where there was another one. Up and down and around the house they ran, looking for notes. Finally, they ended up downstairs in the basement by the fireplace, where they learned that we would be camping at home. We made cookies and watched a nature show by the fire (gas, turned on by a switch, isn't it great:). Right now, the kids are asleep in the playroom. It's nice to have a fun trip without having to pack.

Oma's house

Yesterday I had lunch with my grandma, and on her wall I saw a picture from a family reunion years ago. I showed the kids, and they laughed hysterically to think that the boy in the picture who looked 4 years old was actually Uncle Jons.

I remember that reunion. I remember singing and playing. I remember throwing a basketball across the pool and making a basket and driving the other 12 year old boys CRAZY that a girl could do it and they couldn't. I remember over-hearing my teenage aunt expressing frustration that I had got her cute white hair bow dirty after she lent it to me.

And then I had a little epiphany. Two actually. Okay, three.
1. So THAT's where Bekah gets her propensity to stain everything she touches!
2. How really insignificant most things are. I mean, does anyone care about that hair bow now? How silly it sounds to be upset about a hairbow (and she was pretty nice about it). But how silly are most things we get upset about.
3. I had kind of a weird moment where I looked at my Oma and realized that I was right in the middle of where she probably looked back with the most fondness. I've seen old videos of her standing in the backyard, ironing (sheets probably) while her kids ran around playing. She is now struggling with living alone. How's that for a moment of reflection.

Not to brag, but... look at this kid!

Okay, I really love this camera... and this little boy!

My use of time

So, I wrote the previous blog a couple weeks ago. Where am I now in finding contentment?

I have mentioned before that I am a cleaner. I enjoy cleaning, just not the same thing over and over again. You know what I mean... the kitchen floor will never truly be clean, because while I am cleaning, someone else is uncleaning. And since there is ALWAYS something to be cleaned, it seems that I am always cleaning. But today, after we cleaned up the kitchen, I left the cleaning behind and went outside and played with my kids!! I played soccer and then catch for about 3 hours and really enjoyed it.

Played with my kids for 3 hours. This is big for me. Who'd have thought that I could leave my to-do list and just play?

Aahhh contentment. This way, I don't go to bed feeling guilty that I didn't spend enough time with my kids. And amazingly, I don't feel guilty either that my kitchen isn't spotless right now either.

And speaking of time:

Did you know that they sell toilet shaped clocks that flush every hour. I mean really, who has so much money that they spend it on this?

Content

Lately I have been trying to focus on finding joy in motherhood. I was reading a book called... Contentment in Motherhood (or something like that). I was actually getting ticked reading the book. For example, she talked about her awesome stay-at-home-mom, who did all these amazing things like be the youngest member on the mo-tab choir, a mission-mom at 29, in charge or all these activities all over Ireland, etc. etc. Anyway, as I read I thought, yeah, of course her mom never had issues with being a stay-at-home-mom. She wasn't one! She may not have been paid, but she was sure doing a lot of other stuff...

Anyway, I was in the middle of all this complaining and discontentment, which was getting me exactly opposite where I wanted. Then it struck me, maybe it was me. Does the word "Stiff-neckedness" come to mind?

So I have done some softening. I started reading the book without criticism... and more importantly, The Good Book. And it's getting TONS better. I am finding contentment. I am really enjoying mothering. I love being home with my kids. And while it is in no way perfect, I'm feeling what I have been praying for.

I tried, I really tried.

Yesterday, I was so motivated to get up early and exercise. Even motivated at 3am when baby awoke. And at 4:30 when baby woke again.

But then, by morning, a stomach flu caught up with me. Seriously, I'm not making this up. It took about 12 more hours to keep anything down.

So I think somehow this is a sign. Paulo Coelho writes in The Alchemist: When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.

Apparently, I really don't want to be that self-disciplined to get up early, because even the universe is conspiring against me on this. Who am I to argue with the universe? I'm off to bed.

What do I do?

I've been experiencing some disatisfaction with my life lately, which had me puzzled. I mean, really, I have a FANTASTIC life. I have an attached garage (still giving prayers of thanks for that!), I have healthy children... especially a healthy baby (yeah! To think, my last baby already had surgery by this age!), and a husband who never complains if the house is not clean when he gets home (actually, I'm usually the one complaining). So what is my deal?

It hit me today. I have lost self discipline.

It all begins after the kids go to bed and I have finished cleaning my kitchen... that downward spiral. Too tired to do something productive, like maybe get on the elyptical we own. Yet, I can't go to bed because my baby should eat in an hour and a half. So what do I do? I glut in front of the tv. And because I'm nursing, I'm hungry... so here comes the chips and salsa. Then, I will stay up after my baby goes to bed just to finish that show or write this blog. And because my baby will invariably wake me up in the middle of the night, tomorrow morning I will lay in bed until I absolutely have to get up (which is still pretty early), and be tired much of the day and exhausted by night.

I need to get up early. Start my day right before the kids awake. Exercising would be nice. Or reading. I have become addicted to sleep and have lost the discipline to get out of bed before I absolutely have to.

So what do I do? Really, what do I do?

Well, I guess this means I better put away the chips and head for bed.

There, out in the darkness...

As I was shutting the garage door tonight I noticed something white in the darkness. No. Couldn't be.

I peered out my front door just to make sure.

Yep.

We were teepeed.

And since I seriously doubt any of our friends (you know, bleary-eyed parents who dream of sleeping through the night) are out there on a Friday night, livin' it up with the toilet paper, this can only mean one thing. That some teenagers know we exist. WE ARE COOL!

Hmm... so cool. I wonder if Rob can get the scouts to clean it up when they get home from their campout tomorrow. That would probably seriously impact our popularity factor, but I'm cool with that.

update: Rob said he thought we were probably tp'd because the culprits thought we were the previous owners (who had a teenage daughter). He may be right, but if they had KNOWN how cool WE are, they would have done it anyway. Right?

Specifics

Rob has been SUPER busy at work. In fact, he is there right now still. I can't remember seeing him so stressed... and he doesn't get stressed, so that is saying a lot. He has been put in charge of managing a huge, multi-million project with unrealistic deadlines. Oh bless him. I have been praying for him, but I'm kind of unsure what can be done.

I read a book a while ago about meditation/visualization (which is really just another word for faith). Anyway, as I was driving the other day, a quote from the book came to me, out of the blue. If you want something specific, you have to visualize/pray for something specific. If you pray for something general, the answer will be general. While we have both been praying for him, I finally asked Rob what specifically he needs. He needed more help, more people who are skilled.

Well, the very next day he came home excited to tell me that two different people came up out of the blue and offered to complete a couple tasks that needed to get done that day (that Rob just didn't have time to do). He also got a few resumes that day that looked like potentially people he could use on his team. One guy who is in charge of documentation stuff came up out of the blue saying, "I need to solder something... do you have anything to solder?" And of course, that was one of the tasks that Rob needed done. What are the chances?

The chances are great when you are specific in what you are praying for or visualizing. Interesting. As we struggle with discontentment, stress, etc., do we just vaguely ask for a change, or do we really take the time to verbalize exactly what we want.

Back to BYU one more time

Okay, I had another little trip down memory lane, but this time, it was very different.

My brother was called to be in the bishopric of a single's ward at BYU (a leadership position in the church over a bunch of single young adults). So this Sunday we drove down there to attend his first Sunday and then had dinner there afterwards.

His new ward met in the engineering building. Rob and I met for church together in probably the same exact room before we were married. Later, after we were married, we were in a single's ward in Michigan (in the bishopric), and although the scenery was different, the climate was very much the same. Aah, the memories. Kind of.

Except this time, it was completely different. We were in a room where everyone was absolutely silent... hear-a-pin-drop-silent... except for our little cheering section, which consisted of my 3 kids (who were going on their 2nd Sacrament meeting of the day), my 1 and 1/2 yr old nephew, and the adults who were taking care of 4 children. Sidenote: us parents conveniently located ourselves in the row in front of the kids... the adults WITHOUT children were super kind to quietly play with them for most of the hour. While the kids were spectacularly quiet, spectacularly quiet is still pretty loud in a silent room.

Anyway, listening to the kids talk while I was passing crayons back and forth and drawing pictures for them, I felt more and more different. And finally, with the last speaker, I realized the difference. Their era of life is a time where you are wrapped up in yourself. It's not a bad thing, but you are wrapped up in figuring out what YOU want to do with your life, where YOU want to go, etc. And now, my life revolves around everyone else's needs: My kid's needs, my husband's needs. And that doesn't mean my needs are not met... in some ways, the opposite is true. As I get older, it becomes clearer what I want and I'm less inhibited about achieving it. But I also spend a lot less time thinking about what I want. And I realize that many of my wants are not the biggest priority in my life anymore. Like my need for sleep is not as important as a baby's need for food. I really LOVED being 20-something in college and I sometimes miss that excitement and thrill that accompanied it, yet as I sit here right now, with a newborn on my lap sighing contentedly, listening to my 2 others discussing what they are going to draw, I am grateful that I have moved on. It is good... in a not-so-quiet way.

Who rules the roost

"See, even Gamma listens to what your mom says," Gamma said tonight at my house, trying to reinforce to my kids to listen to their parents.
"Yep, everyone listens to what Mom says," I said.
"Even Daddy," said Bekah.
"But who does Mama listen to?"I asked, trying to imply my husband.
"Herself." chimed my daughter.
"Daddy," I corrected.
"Is that right?" asked my husband.
"No." sang both kids in unison. My husband busted up laughing.

Couple picts

I took these one afternoon with 3 very squirelly kids, but the camera takes pictures quick. Love the new camera! No photo shop even... just a little help with iphoto.

Some enchanted evening

We are not great celebrators. Yes, we go out to dinner sometime within 2 weeks of our anniversary, but that's about it. We never celebrated 1 month together, 6 months, a year, when we met, when we got engaged (which was about when we met), or anything romantic like that. Even birthdays are kind of low-key. I bought my own present.

But one tradition that Rob decided when we were first married was that on Valentine's, we would have a nice, really gourmet, dinner together. With my lack of cooking passion, this tradition would have gone by the wayside. But no, every year Rob comes up with a fantastic menu, he has even gone grocery shopping in years past, and he does most of the cooking. One V-day, he even bought a blow-torch to make creme brulee (my husband knew I have a thing for food on fire). This year, he came home early (which was a feat in itself) and made a fantastic parmesan chicken over pesto and angel hair pasta. Asparagus with a sauce that called for 3 sticks of butter (he did not use that much, but obviously was delicious... I was scraping my plate). And then for dessert, we had parfait. Oh, it was fabulous! The kids loved it to... we ate a WHOLE MEAL with them only getting up off the table once. Okay, maybe twice... but only twice. We ate by candlelight (this was on principle... not quite so romantic when a child kept complaining that it was too dark) and listened to Rachmaninoff.

Then my man surprised me by suggesting we watch Enchanted April, the movie, he reminded me, that we saw our first Valentine's Day married. And he rubbed my feet. In the words of the movie, Moonstruck, "isn't it romantic!" (sounds a lot better when the cute old man in the movie is singing it).

Love is in the air

You know how with your first child, everything is amazing. They smile, you laugh. They poop, you cheer. Everything is new. Your child is incredible.

By three, it should be pasee. Not only do I not know how to spell "pass-ay", but it isn't anyway. I just spent the last 2 hours laughing at Number 3's brilliant impersonation of a bobble head, wondering what he kept staring at right next to me for 15 minutes, and sighing at his sweet baby sleep.

I am not alone. My whole family is in love. "Say ARR, say ARR!" My daughter loves to lean over in his face and try to get him to talk. Last week, as a 7 week old, he said "aarrr" when hungry 3 times. My daughter happened to hear him after the first, and she believes his next two "aarrs" were actually in response to her prompting. So now, along with her incessant need to touch his head every chance she can (mostly I think because it drives me nuts), she also constantly practices saying arrr with him. My son (who can hold still for at least 2 minutes), loves feeding him a bottle and will lay down next to his little brother and encourage and talk to him whenever there is tummy time. As a bonus, this baby is quiet, he even cries quietly! That alone makes him extra special in this house.

Absolutely sappy, true. But I just cannot get over the fact that even though I've done this before, it is still so wonderful and new because it is all new to him!

Changing

My closet is now littered with half-opened boxes. Sweaters, almost-fitting jeans, summer shirts. Instead of being put on shelves, neatly organized, many of them or folded into large piles, some out of reach on the highest shelf, others piled on top of boxes on the floor.

You have to understand, I love order. I CRAVE it. I own a label-maker (a successful mother's day gift from my husband), and have lovingly used it in linen-closets, storage room, etc. I come by it naturally... both my parents love order. And if you go to my mother's mother's home, you could open any drawer or cupboard and find things in rows and neatly labeled. She may lose her mind, but she will not lose anything else. Previously my own closet was organized by color... which sounds complicated, but since most of my tops were white, black, or blue, it really didn't take much to keep up.

But first came a move with a new closet, then another move, then pregnancy, with it's new wardrobe, and then post-pregnancy, another transition. And as I am now moving in to fitting more of my clothes (fit into another pair of jeans yesterday! Now I have 3 to rotate thru), I am needing to pull out more of the boxed winter clothes. Since the the official ground hog in Punxsutawney, Pa failed to see his shadow, winter is on it's way out, and with it, another wardrobe change. But judging from the mess on my closet floor, I'm not exactly sure what to do.

So what the heck? Why am I writing about my closet? While my closet has been in transition the last year and a half, my life has even more so. The transitioning has seen me through a new job, a new home, a new baby, new car, new body, new friends. And now I am given the gift of thinking time... as I spend hours feeding my baby each day, my mind has shifted to thinking about all of this shifting, and wondering where I want to be. And just like my closet, I'm not exactly sure.

Along with organization, I love goal setting. Just ask my husband. When we were first married, I would regularly fenagle him into discussing personal and family goals. It seems like every time I was in charge of FHE, I would excitedly talk about the importance of goals, and wrench out of him a couple, much like pulling teeth. Come to think of it, maybe that's why we weren't super good at having regular FHE...

By the end of January, I normally have a list of well-thought out goals for the year in my planner. And normally, there are little checks down most of the list by the end of December. But not this year. There are no goals yet. I don't even know what I want. I am still in transition, and I'm not ready to run out and commit to anything until I know what it is I want.

And that is where my closet and I sit. On the brink of something wonderful. I can feel it. I'm about to transition into someone new... I feel God's tugs trying to point and push me. I'm just not sure where. But I know I'll figure it out soon enough. It just takes a little while to get organized.

a blast to the past

This weekend we went back to my alma mater. Between going to the basketball game and the art museum exhibition, I stopped by my old stomping grounds... passing by my old freshman apartment. It was already dated when I went (clean, but dated), so adding a few years or even, say, 50, doesn't change it all that much. There was a printer now in the basement lobby, but other than that, by all essentials, it was the same. And if you were to come on cleaning day, you would assuredly smell the same vinegar and lysol cleaner smell. Two girls walked out of my old apartment, and other than height, weight, and hair color, they looked exactly like I once did. I even stood by the same tree that my roommates and I had once taken pictures by and it was... just the same. It was all the same... a new generation doing and being exactly the same. It seems as though I could step through a time portal and somehow be back exactly where I was. Or actually, it seemed more like I shouldn't even need a time portal to step back... I should still be there.

The only difference was that now I was standing, looking at myself in the mirror outside the door with two children by my side (and another one with my husband). And the two children called me "mom" (which still sometimes wierds me out). And I am now over 15 YEARS older. WHAT!?



But I guess it's okay, because after that we went to the creamery for ice cream, which I never used to do because I couldn't afford it back then.

Baby love

I must say that I was scared. In fact, I was more nervous with this third child than even the first. Probably because after my sick number 2, I had a much better grasp of just how hard it could be. Number 2, bless his heart... that was a dark time in my life... difficult pregnancy that moved right into difficult infancy. I love him dearly, it's true, but it took me about 4 years to even hold another baby willingly. So I was scared to the point of tears.

Number 3 will be 2 months next week, and how has it gone?

Fantastic. Really fantastic. While number 2 already had surgery by this age, we have dealt with not much more than suctioning noses (which as a pediatric nurse, I could probably do in my sleep). In the beginning, I was stressed out about nursing and poor weight gain (while my husband tried to gently remind me that it has happened with EVERY one of my children, so accept that I will never be a poster child for the La Leche league). By now, the hormones have settled down a little and I've settled down, too. One definite perk is that formula fills up a baby longer than breast milk, so other than when Rob is out of town, this baby usually sleeps really well at night (this baby feels that he needs to wake up frequently and keep me company whenever Rob is gone). So with some sleep, life has been grand.

The kids adore him, and bless his heart, he has been okay with all their adoration. No eyes have been poked out yet, knock on wood. Speaking of eyes, one cute little one is making eyes with me, so I better go do some oogling.

Highs and low

This weekend,
St George highs: 60 degrees
Las Vegas highs: 65
Los Angeles highs: 75

Salt Lake highs: 37
Chicago highs: 31

A friend and I were reminiscing about midwest weather today. You know, chiselling ice off the car, seeing the sun for 2 hours total in January, wind blown snow drifts. It reminded me of how great I have it here. But that sense of gratitude is wearing off tonight. I want to just up and drive south.

masses

Several years ago, in the middle of our 7 year graduate-school stint, Rob came home excited. "I calculated it out, and we can be millionaires by 45 if we can just put $30K in savings every year."

"That's great honey. Now we just have to make at least $30K". "

So now that we have a real job, Rob's brain is starting to plan. Just before Grandma died, while aunts and uncles were sitting around talking, Rob approached one uncle to ask for any investment advice. "Now that we are entering a new phase of life and beginning to amass wealth..." (meaning that we are now able to buy Costco blueberries more than once a year). What was heard was something about us "accumulating a mass of wealth". The aunts and uncles had a good chuckle about our mass of wealth.

It's true. I've used like 6 $3 off coupons for formula.

A play date

"Mom, can I have a friend over to play tomorrow?" my 4 yr old begged me again and again.
"Sure, who?"
"Max".
Max is our 17 yr old cousin. :) Today, Kyle asked to play with Richie, the 13 yr old cousin.

We have loved spending time with family this week as so many have come together because of the funeral, and then Sunday for our baby blessing. I LOVE FAMILY! I would love to have a play date with any of you any day.

a great woman

Grandma Bassett just died. She's technically Rob's grandma, but I couldn't have loved her more.

Grandma Bassett is one of those people that just LOVES you. Her family is her world, but her family includes about everyone who walks into her house. She makes no pretense of who she is or what her expectations are. Shoot, you know what she think, and she will tell you what she thinks you should do. But she also really gets to know you. I've noticed that when most people (myself included) talk, it often seems that they are almost more interested in talking about themselves than really hearing what the other person has to say and think. She is one of those people that really wants to know about YOU. And she remembers and will ask about what you have talked about later. For example, she knows what's going on in my life, my kids, and even always asks about my extended family, not out of politeness, but real interest. And it's not just me. At family dinners, many times she sits with her great-grandkids, the 3-6 yr. olds, and carry conversations with them that are just as important to her as with people her age.

I am trying to be that kind of person. The kind who really listens. OK, "trying" is the key word... I'm certainly not there yet.

Every parents dilemma

We have 6 bedrooms in our house. (And anyone is welcome to come visit and stay in one). Six. So why must all 5 members of my family end up in one bedroom every night? And you can guess whose.

Making happiness my quest

My mom wrote a blog about finding happiness, and suggested listing 10 things that make me happy. Perhaps with a twinge of baby blues or the winter doldrums, this has got me thinking. What really makes me happy? Not smiley, but deep down happy. And how often do I spend my precious free time doing things that in fact do not make me happy? Like tonight. I watched several episodes of a not-so-funny sitcom while I fed my baby. (The feeding my baby was good, but why ruin it with mindless blah).

So here's my list:
-Let's see. I really like to learn. I started crying this summer when I got to go to education week. Yes, I'm a geek.
-I am happy exercising, especially with my family.
-I am happy talking with friends, especially girl friends.
-I am happy when my house is clean.
-I am happy when I am creating something...other than a baby-I'm a little grumpy sometimes when I'm pregnant.
-I am happy sitting outside, especially in the warm sun.

Didn't make it to 10, but it's a start, and I'm still working on my list. And I'm trying to do things that actually make me happy, rather than just do things that are easy... like crash in front of the tv.

I want to be happy. I'm not sad, but I want to feel more fulfilled. I am pursuing happiness, not just waiting for it to land on me. I recently reread the Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, which by the way is fabulous. At the beginning of the main character's quest, he learns, When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it. I believe it, too. It's the power of visualization. So to begin my happiness quest, I'm figuring out what really makes me happy, and then begin doing it. As I become more in tune with what makes me happy, I more closely follow the mission that God wants me to do here, which of course makes everybody happy.

The last couple days, I've been starting to do what makes me happy. Tonight, I took my time smiling at my baby while bathing him in the sink. I started to sew (create) a dust ruffle for a baby crib. I sat outside in the sun (even took my coat off for a little while). I ran on the treadmill and I pulled out an old Biology book and started reading it while exercising.
I know, I'm a nerd. But I will be a happy nerd.

At the risk of no one responding, I still would love to hear anyone else list of what makes them happy.

Yes, still trying

Saying yes...
Yes you can have yogurt
Yes you can have a piece of candy
Yes you can hold the baby for a minute
Yes you can watch Diego. Just not today (Does this still count?)
Yes you can go outside in the backyard and play in the snow
Yes... no, you can not have more candy (They keep asking me this!)
Yes you can give me a 5 minute foot massage. :)