Back to BYU one more time

Okay, I had another little trip down memory lane, but this time, it was very different.

My brother was called to be in the bishopric of a single's ward at BYU (a leadership position in the church over a bunch of single young adults). So this Sunday we drove down there to attend his first Sunday and then had dinner there afterwards.

His new ward met in the engineering building. Rob and I met for church together in probably the same exact room before we were married. Later, after we were married, we were in a single's ward in Michigan (in the bishopric), and although the scenery was different, the climate was very much the same. Aah, the memories. Kind of.

Except this time, it was completely different. We were in a room where everyone was absolutely silent... hear-a-pin-drop-silent... except for our little cheering section, which consisted of my 3 kids (who were going on their 2nd Sacrament meeting of the day), my 1 and 1/2 yr old nephew, and the adults who were taking care of 4 children. Sidenote: us parents conveniently located ourselves in the row in front of the kids... the adults WITHOUT children were super kind to quietly play with them for most of the hour. While the kids were spectacularly quiet, spectacularly quiet is still pretty loud in a silent room.

Anyway, listening to the kids talk while I was passing crayons back and forth and drawing pictures for them, I felt more and more different. And finally, with the last speaker, I realized the difference. Their era of life is a time where you are wrapped up in yourself. It's not a bad thing, but you are wrapped up in figuring out what YOU want to do with your life, where YOU want to go, etc. And now, my life revolves around everyone else's needs: My kid's needs, my husband's needs. And that doesn't mean my needs are not met... in some ways, the opposite is true. As I get older, it becomes clearer what I want and I'm less inhibited about achieving it. But I also spend a lot less time thinking about what I want. And I realize that many of my wants are not the biggest priority in my life anymore. Like my need for sleep is not as important as a baby's need for food. I really LOVED being 20-something in college and I sometimes miss that excitement and thrill that accompanied it, yet as I sit here right now, with a newborn on my lap sighing contentedly, listening to my 2 others discussing what they are going to draw, I am grateful that I have moved on. It is good... in a not-so-quiet way.