Changing

My closet is now littered with half-opened boxes. Sweaters, almost-fitting jeans, summer shirts. Instead of being put on shelves, neatly organized, many of them or folded into large piles, some out of reach on the highest shelf, others piled on top of boxes on the floor.

You have to understand, I love order. I CRAVE it. I own a label-maker (a successful mother's day gift from my husband), and have lovingly used it in linen-closets, storage room, etc. I come by it naturally... both my parents love order. And if you go to my mother's mother's home, you could open any drawer or cupboard and find things in rows and neatly labeled. She may lose her mind, but she will not lose anything else. Previously my own closet was organized by color... which sounds complicated, but since most of my tops were white, black, or blue, it really didn't take much to keep up.

But first came a move with a new closet, then another move, then pregnancy, with it's new wardrobe, and then post-pregnancy, another transition. And as I am now moving in to fitting more of my clothes (fit into another pair of jeans yesterday! Now I have 3 to rotate thru), I am needing to pull out more of the boxed winter clothes. Since the the official ground hog in Punxsutawney, Pa failed to see his shadow, winter is on it's way out, and with it, another wardrobe change. But judging from the mess on my closet floor, I'm not exactly sure what to do.

So what the heck? Why am I writing about my closet? While my closet has been in transition the last year and a half, my life has even more so. The transitioning has seen me through a new job, a new home, a new baby, new car, new body, new friends. And now I am given the gift of thinking time... as I spend hours feeding my baby each day, my mind has shifted to thinking about all of this shifting, and wondering where I want to be. And just like my closet, I'm not exactly sure.

Along with organization, I love goal setting. Just ask my husband. When we were first married, I would regularly fenagle him into discussing personal and family goals. It seems like every time I was in charge of FHE, I would excitedly talk about the importance of goals, and wrench out of him a couple, much like pulling teeth. Come to think of it, maybe that's why we weren't super good at having regular FHE...

By the end of January, I normally have a list of well-thought out goals for the year in my planner. And normally, there are little checks down most of the list by the end of December. But not this year. There are no goals yet. I don't even know what I want. I am still in transition, and I'm not ready to run out and commit to anything until I know what it is I want.

And that is where my closet and I sit. On the brink of something wonderful. I can feel it. I'm about to transition into someone new... I feel God's tugs trying to point and push me. I'm just not sure where. But I know I'll figure it out soon enough. It just takes a little while to get organized.