Just a couple musings

So I just did analytics.google.com (or something like that), and I found at that some people actually do read my blog. Hmm... now I need to say something worthwhile. Almost anything worthwhile to say, I end up saying to everyone I know (I'm that quiet, reserved type), so by the time I get to sit down at night and type, I'm done. Dang it. I write really great, witty, and super enlightening blogs in my head, though. Really.

A couple thoughts. I drove down to visit my grandmother last week. Both nights I was there, we spent the evening after kids were in bed just sitting and talking. As she told story after story, it was like I saw my grandmother become a girl, teenager, and young mother. Like I was getting to see her real soul... not just the grandmother role. I wonder if 50 years from now, I will get a chance to share my soul with my own grand-daughter... let her see that even though there are 50 years difference in age, we are so very the same.

My son is going to have surgery again. This will be his second surgery, and he just turned 3. He is having his adenoids and tonsils out because of sleep apnea... which sounds like a common enough procedure, but there is like a 2 week recovery from it. So here is one of my concerns: am I somehow to blame? I have hyperemesis when pregnant and end up taking a lot of meds and getting IVs for 9 months. And although all of those medications are approved for pregnancy, it makes me wonder. None of the cousins, and only 1 of all of the second cousins has had any health problems. Yet both of my kids had funky problems as babies. Not horribly funky, like aplastic heart or microcephaly, but funky enough to require hospitalization. Before you jump in defending, realize that no, I am not trying to point fingers or give myself a guilt trip. It is what it is.
As Rob and I are starting to think about having another baby, I am just thinking, wondering if there is something I can do better for this next one. Probably not... pregnancy for me has been about survival... but if there is something. Hmm.

Although, for the record, I'll take what the Lord gives me with a smile. HE has been so good to me.

Celebrate good times

Yesterday was our anniversary...eight years! So how did we celebrate? Well, since Rob was up early for work and I worked late, we were your typical married-with-kids couple. Not a lot of time or money, but the love is still there. I vacuumed and cleaned his car. He took both kids to the grocery store (wow) and then made a 7-layer dip and smoothies. More wow.

What makes this amazing is that at 10:30pm, when I called to say I was coming home from work (hungry without eating dinner), I asked him to maybe make a smoothie... and wouldn't it be good to have some chips and salsa. He replied that he already had a surprise.

That is bonding. So there was no romantic dinner, no elaborate getaway, no flowers or balloons. But despite busy schedules, we managed to reach out and show our love. I remember when I was growing up, once my parents celebrated by meeting at McDonalds to share fries. That's love.

Oh yeah, we did do some more bonding at about 2 am, while we sat in the kids room, listening to Kyle breathe at night (listening to the sleep apnea... more about that later), both feeling a little lumpy after indulging in too much dip. Good times.

I love you, Rob

a toast

Before I had kids, I remember hearing about kids that climb onto counters and fridges... and thinking that the parents just needed to teach them better. Then I had Kyle. And then I stopped ever judging other parents. Kyle figured out how to move a chair and climb onto the counters before he could walk.

But having crazy active kids is awesome! First, they learn how to fall. This is great because super active kids don't walk anywhere. They run everywhere, and usually faster than they can actually run. I am amazed that my kids have had no broken bones or stitches, and I believe that a large part of that was because they learned how to fall at such an early age. The other part is pure luck.

Anyway, your kids sound wonderful. Wonderfully normal. When people always say, "enjoy them while they are young..." I always think to myself, "I do!" Isn't it great to be a mom... singing raffi and primary songs, going to the store in princess dressups (the child, not me), the tantrums, the knock-knock jokes over and over, watching your kids run around the playground laughing, kisses and snuggles, finding joy in Thomas the Train underwear, putting your children to bed after a long day, and having someone laugh anytime I do... even when my jokes aren't funny.

And while my kids no longer climb up onto my counters (mostly), I must confess, I do feel proud watching them make their way up the climbing wall at the rec. center. So here's to active kids!

Kids say the darnedest things

Heard during my 4 yr. old's temper tantrum, amid the crying and sniffling. Cough cough "I think I'm having an allergic reaction!" Cough cough. Nice try.

Ahah!

I am an organizer. I always carry a planner and write in it regularly. I love a to-do list that I can check off. I love things organized. In my dream house, there is a mud room lined with cabinets and shelves, everything in it's place. So in a juxtaposition of contrasting natures, next to my organizer/productive-self, and just as strongly inherent in my nature, is my fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants self. Although I love to plan out my week, I hate having things overly planned, or even worse, planned too far in advance. What if it is a beautiful day? What if a friend unexpectedly calls?

Why bring this up? I have been trying to plan a trip to a family reunion this summer. I have avoided it for months, and now as I sit and try to figure out dates and times, I am getting so anxious. Even after finding a flight that I want, it will be days, maybe weeks before I actually book it.

For years, I always thought that I was a planner. Because I thrive on organization in my home, I assumed that I must also like organization of my time. Not to mention that I always use my planner. It was only this morning, as I was sitting in the park, watching kids play (another spur-of-the-moment decision), that I had this self-realization. I am not a planner! Woah! I realized that I carry the planner because I want to be productive while I'm being spontaneous.

As a typical woman, a huge part of my life is just understanding myself... my authentic self. I know nobody cares about this but me, but it is my blog. So you can just stop reading (which you probably already have). I'd like to think my husband cares, but in reality, he has given up figuring me out years ago. Bless him.

So that's it. Just one little ahah moment that I wanted to share with you. I hope you all take a moment of meditation to ahah yourself. Now maybe I can get my husband to book those flights.

Eggs

Decorating Easter eggs with the kids. So much fun! They are finally at the age that they could do it. Kyle kept moving one egg between colors over and over. Bekah could color the eggs and coordinate the colors. Look closely, and you can tell half of the eggs are already cracked with all the lovin.

Rob, Rob, Rob, He's our Man!

Here's the kids bonding with their dad. For over 30 min., they laughed and giggled as he changed backgrounds and goofed around on a video chat. With him working about 60-70 hours a week, he is gone a lot. But I am amazed at how much he devotes to our family when he is here. He is so good at caring for all of us! When for a talk, Bekah had to say what each member of our family does for her, she said that her Daddy plays with her (she said that Mom gives her food... that was it... even after I tried prompting her for something cooler).

Anyway, here I am sitting at the computer late on a Friday night. Sigh. I am so thankful for a man who works so hard. And I will be SO thankful when he graduates and we can move on. Someday, a regular job where he can come home without having to work for a couple more hours every night. I am thankful that there is an end in sight. A glimmer at the end of this 7+ yr. tunnel. One can do anything when you know that it is not forever. Anyway, I hope this doesn't sound like whining, because I really have it good, and I know it. The best.

And besides, we all know that once this is over, there will be something else.