Birthday bash

Wow, another blog. I am on a run. Probably because my husband works 70 hours a week and so me and the computer end up cuddling each night.

Sunday I realized that my son was turning 3 in one week. Yippee! Being the 2nd child, he usually gets shafted on party events (the only picture I can find of his first birthday is one my sister-in-law took. Thank you Carolyn). This year, I decided to have a little party. Just small with two neighbor boys (Bekah was at preschool, so it was all-boy). No big deal.

So what do you do to plan a kid party? I decided to google for ideas. One site recommended "For peace of mind, begin planning your train birthday bash six to eight weeks in advance." Are you kidding me? Tell me, does anyone spend that much time and money planning a 3 yr. old's birthday party? I mean, if the 3 yr. old party is that huge, where do you go from there? Wait... that reminds me of how my sister, Jannene, recently helped entertain at a 5 yr. old party where the girls had "high tea" at a 5-star hotel, complete with their own magician and who knows what else. I, on the other hand, went to the dollar store 2 days before.

So the 3 little boys had a blast. They had a treasure hunt with toy cars, played super-cool games, and made stop lights with graham crackers, frosting, and candy. It was easy and lots of fun. They didn't even seem to notice that I didn't design and make cars that they could sit in and pretend to drive around the house. But there was sugar, toys, and boy stuff, so what more does a kid want? Yes! A success!

Why I don't work more (at the job I get paid to do)

I love my job. Well, both my jobs. I am a full-time mom, and that I really love (most of the time). Then one night a week, I get to go and be a nurse at an Instacare. I love that, too. Usually, my kids can play at a neighbors house for 45 min. until Dad gets home. Only a couple times a year do I have all day meetings.

Last Friday, I had an all-day Pediatric conference. It was great, I really love the chance to learn new things. What I don't love is how much work it takes to be able to sit there for 8 hours. A one day conference... 4 different sitters! Then, while I was at the conference, 2 of the 4 sitters got sick! AUGH! How's that for under-pressure scrambling... trying to work out childcare during the 5 minute breaks. I am thankful for the dearest neighbors who helped me out (or were willing, but their child had strep). I even came home to find my sitter's mom at my house, because her daughter had gotten sick while watching my kids. Yes, my sweetheart neighbor sat in my house with my kids while 2 of hers were at home sick.

Someday I would like to start taking classes and eventually get my masters. I am going to have to wait until I no longer need childcare. I think I am still recovering from the stress of one day.

So what do mothers who work part-time do? Full-time, they get day care. Part time, either have family who watch the kids or they have ulcers. Probably both.

Why I live in Utah

All growing up, I swore that I'd never live in Utah. I have no idea why. Freud would probably say it has something to do with the fact that my relatives who lived in Utah were about 3-5 years older than me, and way cooler than me. I probably felt subconsciously intimidated and .... blah blah blah. Whatever. Point is, after having sworn my whole life that I would not be here, I find myself praying each night to stay.

Here's why. Saturday, I had a big meltdown, and so my sister went shoe shopping with me. :) It was only about 30 min, but meant so much to me. I had actually tried buying shoes several times before but because I have little fashion sense, I could never decide on anything (I basically wear a different solid t-shirt every day. If I am wearing something that is not a solid t-shirt, chances are about 90% that it was a hand-me-down from my little sis.). My sister bought some really cute boots and since I know that I like almost everything she has, I bought myself a pair, too (luckily, she isn't bugged by that... we both know she looks better anyway). Glad I did, because sure enough, I now love the shoes.

I just feel like I've been struggling in this funk the last several days. So late this afternoon, I called my parents to see if me & the kids could come for dinner (Rob works until the wee hours of the morning most nights). About a half hour later, we were already heading up to Layton.

I really love the outdoors stuff here: hiking, camping, fishing, biking, (I would add skiing, except I never can find - or afford- someone to watch my kids for that long). I like the weather. But here's why I LOVE living in Utah: Tonight, I watched little Kyle cuddling next to Gamps, listening to a story. Then I turned to find Bekah in the other room, snuggled against Gamma for her book.

People who grew up surrounded by family might not get it. Heck, they may need to move out on their own. But for me, whose closest relative has usually been 1,000 miles away... this moment was priceless.

random question

Is throwing a fit (I mean, the whole works: kicking, screaming, crying) for over 2 hours normal? Especially when said child KNOWS they will not get their way, never have and never will, with said behavior. Just want to know... no reason.

Piranhas

Just watched a Planet earth show with Rob. We love Planet earth... it is amazing. Tonight, we watched these guys trying to film piranhas in a feeding frenzy. What? Who in their right minds swims with piranhas? In fact, when they didn't find piranhas at one site, these locos were happy when they got to film alligators. In the water. Swimming with them.

Everyone has some irrational fear (although I do admit that some sound more rational than others). My fear is fish. Swimming with fish scare the bejeezers out of me. I love to swim and I love the ocean, but I start to hyperventilate if I can feel or (worse) see the fish. We went snorkelling on our honeymoon, and Rob and I got separated a bit. At one point, I got so freaked out in a shallow place, I just stood up and started to cry. Rob, across the little bay, looked up and thought, "Oh look at that poor girl crying. Oh wait... that's my wife!" Bless my heart.

I've tried to conquer my fear, and have tried diving once and even snorkeled with a shark (luckily, I didn't notice it until it was under me, moving away from me.) But swimming with alligators, sharks, and piranhas? Makes even potty training look easy.

A diagnosis

About six months ago, my parents came to me concerned about Bekah, suggesting that we have a specialist look at her. It was little hard to hear, but they said it so lovingly, and I knew it was true. For instance, Bekah usually didn't make much eye contact while talking... she constantly looks around the room. Another good friend agreed, so I made an appointment back in November for a behavioral pediatrician. The first available appointment was in February.

It is hard to acknowledge that your child is different. Several times I decided to cancel her appointment, but every time I did, the Lord would remind me again... And again, we would have a terrible day.

On Feb. 11. both Rob and I talked with the doctor and showed him the paperwork we had filled out. He then played some games and did some fun tests with Bekah. I had to laugh watching her. She was so typical Bekah. Even as she played the games with him, she couldn't ever focus on what he was doing... she had to always keep one eye wandering around the room, checking out what else was going on.

So Bekah has Attention Deficit Disorder. This is not ADHD (with hyperactivity)... and I know so many people have opinions about ADD/ADHD... that it's a farse, over-diagnosed, etc. Think what you want. Both of my kids are very active children, but there is a definite difference in Bekah, and we first noticed it when she was probably 3 months old. I am not the kind of parent to let my kids sit and watch tv... my kids maybe see 2 hours of TV in a week. Yet, my daughter (at 4) still cannot sit in her chair through dinner. It's not like she is trying to disobey or we let her get away with anything. In the words of my parents, "It is physically impossible for her to just sit there!"

Anyway, it was actually wonderful talking with the doctor. ADD is not a disease... but I can definitely see how kids with it have historically just been labeled bad children. It is not that Rebekah always chooses to disobey... she just gets so distracted and has poor impulse control. I can see that she wants to do what's right, she just gets distracted after .2 seconds. It has felt so empowering understanding the why and hopefully, I will be a better parent for her. I have found myself to be much more patient... Whohoo!

So, since no amount of punishment will make her sit quietly during Sacrament meeting (which is now at 3pm :( bless our hearts!), as an informed parent, I am now going to try another strategy. And I am sure everyone who sits around us is waiting anxiously!

Seeing a man about a horse

As great as it is not to change diapers, there is something wonderful about not dealing with accidents, no need to hurry and find a bathroom, or change a bed in the middle of the night. I have been putting off potty training because a) I have heard that boys are harder b) it is winter, it's cold running around in underwear all day c) I get depressed during the winter if I can't leave my house... and we all know that you can't just leave when you are potty training d) I hate potty training. It stretches the patience just about as far as it can go. I am not a super patient person.

While he has gone in the potty periodically for several months, he started showing a lot of interest this last week. Now he has started wanting to get rid of diapers. My sister texted me, while watching my kids this Sat. "Your son keeps begging me to put panties on him!" Sigh. I guess I better just suck it up and do it. You gotta take advantage of the moment. Wish me luck tomorrow.